I thought a lot about time, lately. Yeah, there is no much point in doing it, I know, but I remember how - when I was younger - I used to dream about becoming something and thinking about studying to reach that dream and... I somehow expected it to happen just right after high school, as if that was a preparation to get me directly into the working world and just BOM, I would start doing exactly what I wanted to do because that was what it was expected of me. Does it make any sense?
Anyway it's definitely not gonna happen. Or in most cases.
A concept that was extremely detached from my mind was the fact that, after high school, I would have to do years and years of other stuff before I could even just think about reaching a result that was close enough to what I wanted to do.
Practical example: you want to be a chef, so you study at a cooking high school and expect to be put into a kitchen to prepare amazing dishes soon after you've hardly make it out of the school. Well, not really. Maybe you'll have to start as a waiter for years. Or a kitchen porter. And then, slowly, you'll learn the job on the field and will gradually level up and reach an always closer result to the one you hope to achieve. It's going to be.... well pretty hard that you will become Gordon Ramsay just after high school, don't you think?
Well, I can now think in these terms because I kind of lived it on my skin. I got out of high school with this thing about being an actress and now I don't even want that anymore. I had to realise I needed the money, and the experience, and the... life to do whatever I want to do. Like now, I aim on becoming a decent filmmaker who can pay the bills thanks to my films.
Obviously it's not gonna happen now. It's not gonna happen, probably, in a few years. But it will, if I work hard and keep doing jobs that I don't extremely like but that are a good compromise to keep reaching for my dreams. I mean, I need to eat, I want to travel, I want to buy stuff and equipment and... yeah, I want to be independent so I need a job. Waitressing is not too bad to me, I like serving food to people as I am very passionate about it. I like their face when they see the food and I am lucky enough to be now working in a very renowned and healthy restaurant in a very nice borough in London so I am even proud of what I am serving. I am lucky enough that my colleagues are nice and my boss is nice.
I have been working as a waitress since I was 16, I used to work during summers while my friends went to the beach or just relaxed. I used to try and make as much money as possible but... now that I think about it I've been courageous to do such think. It's easy to be lazy. It's even easier not to find a job, at the moment, due to this bloody crisis. So I think that the series of unfortunate events that led me here was... eventually quite fortunate.
Thing is we are bombarded everyday with people who made it. They are like 15 and they did everything we could ever dream to achieve in life whatsoever. So... why can't we? We just get used to this way of life. The film one. The book one. The one that doesn't resemble 99% of the entire populations. And this gets us depressed but the thing is... It does NOT mean we will NEVER get to that point, it just means it might take more time and a bloody hard work. But it doesn't prevent us from making it. We just have to come to term with the fact that from one point to the other of our life-line, there might be a bit of a troubled ground and take a few more years. But what matters is that we get there, at the end. And nothing says for certain that we can't. Future is a bitch because it's so uncertain, but that's also what makes it changeable/variable/shifting.
So yeah, that's what I thought about. What are your thoughts about this? I'd like to hear them.
Waiting for your comments!